i'm still here. i rarely write here anymore, but i'm still here nonetheless. i don't even get around much anymore, but in may i will be travelling to chicago to see MONADE play at the abbey pub, which is the same place i saw BROADCAST play two years ago. people in my life passed on. my will to carry on is fed only by virtue of alcohol, zoloft and xanax - its troubling indeed - but not desparate. i believe in god, but does god believe in me? i still work at an office, as a desk jockey - it's the same thing i've been doing for nearly 3 years now, but it pays the bills i guess. but these years haven't been for naught - as i have embarked upon a journey of self-discovery that has been both profound and enlightening. learning about one's self is something many people don't do much of these days. i believe that when you learn about yourself, you can also learn much about the world around you. i'd like to believe that i'm a reincarnation of plato, but the breadth (or non-breadth) of my existence proves otherwise.